Coffee Thoughts in the Morning!

Alrighty, so I've got five minutes to blurt out whatever the fuck is going through my head, so let's not waste this learning moment. I'm fucking tired as shift from the shift I've got with Amazon, and god DAMNED I'm fucking exhausted as shit. Seriously, I'm just flat out beat, but the money's good, and hours are fantastic and I'm learning a lot bout the whole thing. That being said, I do have a few quips about the whole thing and while I'm pretty sure nothing's going to make sense, because fuckit I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about nachos, fuck I'm distracted easily, why am I sitting on a couch cushion, oh yeah.... Fuck it.... 

My burrito was a hamster. Annnnd then it wasn't. I don't know what's going to pop out today, and frankly, NOT GIVIN A FUCK! Why? i dunno, maybe it's because people want to talk to me all the fucking time when I need to be writing so that way, I can go about my day as if nothing'swrong, but I know there's something wrong, because like it or not, I've got a family that cares about me. And yet, they drive me crazy wanting to talk to me JUST as I'm about to sit down I tell em what's been working for me, and they dirupt that by going, FUCK THAT BOOSHIT! YOU DOING THIS NOW! and it's very frustrating for me, that one place I have control, is slowluy becoming the one place where I don't. I need this sense of control because it gives me some sort of power over my life, some sort of chice I can make on my own without having to feel pressurized, stop doing that, stop doing this, fuck all of you. I'm going to do my thing, because that's wh...

God I fucking love coffee! Seriously, nothing more satisfying in the mornings then hcocking down some random shit I no longer care about writing. Well, not that topic anymore, I don't write these morning blogs just to be all philosophical and shit, I write them to just fucking say what's on my mind, and there's not really much on my mind, no, really! I used to try and make sense of the world, try to unlock it's various dick shaped puzzles, and try to be something more than my mind actually was: Infinite confuckled about everything stupid and trying to be more intelligent than a methed out gerbil being stupid funny on a facebook live of a Captain Hook porn parody where no one's having fun, and everything just seems fucked. More or less, I'm sure the clown in the corner, sadly jacking it to a rendition of "hurt me more" by the Sugarpops and Daddy6969 is truly just wonderful. Outside of that, I drink coffee and slap my face against the keyboard bec...

I've always wondered what gerbils thought abvout when they go through those weird as fuck habitrails, like are they thinking "FUCK THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN, ME AND THEB OYS ARE BREAKING OUT TONIGHT!" only to realize moments later that the boys are a bowl of pellets and a squeaky ball they've been humping to death? These are the stupid thoughts I have as I struggle to comprehend the world of today. not in the way most people would when trying to interpret the stupid things they witness, but rather the greatness of the universe as it cracks down on the rampant stupidity, as if Idiocy itself were the cocaine of the mind. Which, I guess in a way, it is really is! but im not even thinking clearly, I don't like thinking clearly, or logically in the mornings, it's become my crux, my weakness, my way of dumbing down my own thoughts in hopes of having an empathetic ephnay, which is what I've been trying to do from the very start of this thing I guess. From the day...

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I'm kinda fucking pissed, I'm gonna be random like a fuck fly fucking a fucker fucking a fuck shop with none left in stock, and have a garage sale with as little fucks as possible, because in this day and age, where fucks are less prevalent that fucking shit balled turd bur-gal bur-galling a burger shop, there ain't nothing like the fucking fucks who fucked a fucker in the fucking fucked, but that fucking fucked is fucking shit up for the other fuckers who previously fucked them up in the fucked past. Maybe i don't fucking care if you can't understand just what the fuck I'm talking about, and maybe I don't care, maybe I'm just angry cause a fucking sandwich didn't fucking last as fucking long as I wanted it to, and there's nothing wrong with a vague as fuck post, decrying the evils of FUCKING FRENCH FRIES! THEIR POTATOES, ON FUCKING DIETS! CAN YOU SEE THE ANAL RETENTIVENESS OF THIS POST!? Are you not aware that sometimes, smart people just need...

I had a bunch of things I wanted to get off my chest, yeah, this place is called my little Ranty but at the same time, fuck it, that's just what it is, I don't know why have the sudden urge to try and put some meaning behind something that doesn't, it's pretty fucking useless to do it. Maybe I'm feeling a bit more contemplative than usual? Maybe. I'm 34, single, recently single, and I live at home. Yeah, there's a truck load of jokes right there about basement dwellers and everything else that flops around uselessly in society. But, we don't have a basement, and I would love the fuck out of that shit. I mean, why the fuck do basements get so much shit anyways? It's like an entire place to yourself, fuck yeah! You could make that shit into your own little office! which, I'd totally do. Anyways, more on that later, this is one of the rare times where I don't have my head shoved so far up my own ass that I take a little breather ffrom the an...

WARNING: I tend to bounce around thoughts a lot, so if you think these thoughts are arranged sequentially, LMAO... Cute... No. Have you ever thought to yourself? What lies beyond the veil of madness that sugarplum fairies can go fuck themselves because TEN POUNDS OF FUCKING YOGA FUCKING PANTS WERE STOLEN!? Seriously, who the FUCK ARE THESE YOGA PANTS STEALING BITCHES!? What in the utter fuck is going on here, I can't even... I'm dumbstruck by these three women, who are SO FUCKING OBSESSED WITH STRETCHY FUCKING PANTS, THAT THEY HAVE TO FUCKING STEAL 10,000 DOLLARS WORTH OF IT. Why? The fuck? Are people stealing Yoga pants? What the fuck is going on here? And ... I don't get it. I don't fucking get female culture at all. just... what the fuck is going on!? I don't get the intelligence that went into these women planning this out. Did they think, "WELL FUCK ME, i NEED THEM STRETCHY FUCKING PANTS, LET'S WADDLE OUR FAT ASSES IN THERE AND STEAL THEM MOTHE...

I... Called this shit. I fucking called it a long ass time ago, and I stood by my words then. Donald John Trump, the Ultra Elite, is, and always will be, a fucking IDIOT. From his Twitter "To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!" -Donald John Trump via Twitter This is it folks, the moment we all knew would happen, when the shit hit the fan and we're all reduced to nothing more than just seat fillers, where our voices no longer count for anything more than just eyes to watch the deadliest tennis match in the world. We're fucked. WE. ARE. FUCKED. And? It's all thanks to this fucking idiot. You know, I woke up thinking, "Sweet motherfucker, I'm going to work on a book today! Progress! sunshine...

But, my half assed fucking coffee does, and it IS PISSED. About what? About why? About ham? Why ham? Why anything? Why does the idea of pissing into a black hole seem like the ULTIMATE FACEBOOK LIVE and a video that MAY just become a new REALLY expensive porn fetish? I mean, SURE, when you really think about it, urinating in to a near infinite gravitation void of suck has all the benefits of crushing your crotch into the size of a singularity. Which means you have to be really fucking accurate when whacking off. Or at least, that's the going theory. But then again, trying to shit on the sun is pointless. Because you'd have to be really fucking close to that star struck burning motherfucker in order to even watching as your flaming duece turns to ash as a solar flare just wipes you both out. Because, you know, facts, and space info and all that. Look, pissing into the void and shitting on the sun may seem like REALLY good times, but let me tell you... That ...

Hello, fuck you, let's do this shit. I'm not sure where the FUCK I should begin, but let's just say that Donald "fuck my tiny asshole PUTIN YOU TOSHIBA"  Trump is the worst fucking president we're EVER going to have, he's like thel ittle shitbag that could and god dman it! I just don't give a shit! That fucking treasonous son of a bitch is a fucking moron and everyone fucking knows this shit, it's like ,"HEY, LOOK AT ME, I'M A FUCKING RETARD!" and god damn it if he jst doesn't prove that every fucking time he's on TV like, and anytime I watch, I'm like FUCK MY LIFE THIS SHIT IS FUCKING DARK! Like a god damned mix of Terminator and Jurasshole park, where the T-rex has come back from the past to nuke John Conner and fuck us all over with his giant Trex tail, and no wonder the little shit is always fucking angry, with that fat ass and tiny arms, I'm be pissed too if I couldn't jack off! Maybe that's why he...