I have nothing important to say

But, my half assed fucking coffee does, and it IS PISSED.

About what? About why?

About ham?

Why ham?

Why anything?

Why does the idea of pissing into a black hole seem like the ULTIMATE FACEBOOK LIVE and a video that MAY just become a new REALLY expensive porn fetish?

I mean, SURE, when you really think about it, urinating in to a near infinite gravitation void of suck has all the benefits of crushing your crotch into the size of a singularity.

Which means you have to be really fucking accurate when whacking off.

Or at least, that's the going theory.

But then again, trying to shit on the sun is pointless. Because you'd have to be really fucking close to that star struck burning motherfucker in order to even watching as your flaming duece turns to ash as a solar flare just wipes you both out.

Because, you know, facts, and space info and all that.

Look, pissing into the void and shitting on the sun may seem like REALLY good times, but let me tell you... That i've lost all interest in defending my anime fetishes.

Like, it's 2018, can we move on to something other than big ol squiggy tentacles that would make sausage makers just shit othemselves out of fear?

How many times can we watch something that looks like an oversized tongue slap against a crotch of undetermined gender? Because if I'm going down on that Apache Helo, I want to be sure her helocopter blades are handcuffed to the bed. Because reason, and fuck you, not saying anything more.

Okay, I was turned on a little bit by the transformers movies, but only because sexbots are now a thing, and I just bought some poptarts, so when the fuck are we going to have a sexbot that turns into a fucking toaster?

Note to self: Do not look up toaster fucking.

Note to self: Ignore previous note.

Note to self: Never watch Brave little toaster ever again. Movie will never be the same, ever again.

that aside, I was watching some Death Notebook, which is like the overweight couch potato version of Deathnote, in which the MC just kind of drools on the Death Notebook and the shinigami is a sexy librarian with a nipple bnut fetish with tentacles in the shape of taosters.

Yeah, it's a VERY specific kind of genre that I'm not sharing with you.

Although it could be pretty funny to watch Brave Little Toaster in the Electric Chair, because you know, he's a potato clock sexbot made of taosters and Shia Labouches negative inspirational screaming.

I've already lost my track of time while writing that rant out, but I feel like I've suddenly become a braver person, a stronger person, a person that will never go to Best Buy with a look of confidence on my face ever again, because jesus christ, those Toaster Ovens are looking might fine, for you know, reheating that pizza.

Fuck off.

That being said, there's not much to be said about anything that looks like a disjointed half assed movie by Michael Bay in which the only explosion, is the one your bank account makes when it implodes from lack of money in it. 

Like a swiss army vacuum that does more than just a little sucking here and there. I mean, that's a vacuums entire purpose is to sucks. I mean, there REALLY is no trying to make a vacuum feel bad about its job.

"HEY, YOU FUCKING SUCK!"

"Yeah, I know! I'm really good at it!"

"BLOW ME!"

"Um, no."

If they mixed Alexa with appliances, how fucking scary would that be?

"Alexa, bring me eggs."

"i'm sorry Dave, did you say: 'Bring me sex'? I found four hookers in the area that might satisfy."

"EGGS, EGGS, I WANT FUCKING EGGS!"

"Contacting Trucking School."

"I'm hungry!"

"Hungary is located near Navo Scottishia."

That bit went on for al ittle too long, but at the same time, I needed to run out the cloc k on that shit, because even I was starting to get a little bored of all the sex stuff.

"Did you say-"

Fuck off Alexa, no one loves you.

I had something else to add to that, but meh, I'm bored already.