coffee Thoughts
I've always wondered what gerbils thought abvout when they go through those weird as fuck habitrails, like are they thinking "FUCK THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN, ME AND THEB OYS ARE BREAKING OUT TONIGHT!" only to realize moments later that the boys are a bowl of pellets and a squeaky ball they've been humping to death?
These are the stupid thoughts I have as I struggle to comprehend the world of today.
not in the way most people would when trying to interpret the stupid things they witness, but rather the greatness of the universe as it cracks down on the rampant stupidity, as if Idiocy itself were the cocaine of the mind.
Which, I guess in a way, it is really is!
but im not even thinking clearly, I don't like thinking clearly, or logically in the mornings, it's become my crux, my weakness, my way of dumbing down my own thoughts in hopes of having an empathetic ephnay, which is what I've been trying to do from the very start of this thing I guess.
From the days where Hauptman111 was my focus, to the blogs lamenting why, out of nowhere, I wasn't recieving daily blowjobs from a hot wamon.
Yes, we wish for daily blow jobs.It's really no secret.
And yes, I spelled woman wrong.
no, I still have no fucks to give about that.
Why?
Because this is less a rant blog where I try to flambe the various idiots I come acorss, (Though I do have a very fun story about Chai Tea for later.)
this is more or less about stretching my brain in a creative way which doesn't involve NOT posting my thoughts for weeks on end, which is something I've been guilty of now for a while as I struggle to knock out a tournnament style story about some shit or another which doesn't seem to make sense, and yet, in a way, it still might.
I've been struggling to see the light of my own actions for a while, and though the moments of my suicide attempt still play around in my head like a fucked up movie theater showing a preview of a snuff film before a Disney movie about possessed teddy bears stalking their former owners, i'm just trying to move on as fast as possible.
the ocmplexities I face on such a daily basis are just insane. what do I do first?
Put on clothes, or stride naked down the street, my staff of god swing around, wildly destroying buildings as I try my best not to get a hard on and potentially have a heart attack and become my penis's penis.
A reverse penis if you will.
Actually, i don't know, maybe all this fluff and filler is designed to distract myself from the ever present possiblitoies of irrelevancy and down trodden state of mind which may or may not have led me to my unfortunate choice to attempt to end my own life.
this is why I'm seeing a therapist, to get to the bottom of this shit and find out for sure. Because sometimes, seeing the previews and a shaky shitty version of the movie online, just IS THE FUCK NOT ENOUGH.
sometimes, you've got to have na outsiders perspective, one that own't judge you idiotic outright or something.
I dunno, I like tlaking, especially now that my tongues healed up from that nasty business about... something, I dunno, I forgot what hte line of thought way that I was knocking out,, something aboutp lanes, trains and autmobiles.
Well, whatever it was, I'm sure that for whatever reason, it was in this post.
Meanwhile, I've got a tale for you.
You see, recently, I started following my friend Amy on twitter, she's awesome, we've been friends for years, however, recently she started dating this chick, we're calling her Chai Tea, because why not. And no, this isn't about calling osmeone out, this is just a particularly hilarious moment, in which an early twenty something, says something incredibly dumb, and my logic wheel was like, "What the fuck did she just say?"
So, every once in a whle, I'll like and retweet stuff that Ames posts, because i think it's awesome, well...
Chai Tea seemed to think I was flirting with Amy, which, we've toyed around with the idea, but nothing's ever really sparked up, so we're best off as friends, because... I dunno, we might be good together, but at the same time, everyone's got their own thing they're into, and I'm pretty open minded.
Anyways, Chai Tea sends me this angry message "you should stop being so flirty on twitter, stop like and retweeting my girlfriends things!"
to which I reply: "It's a website."
to which she replies in a way which I imagine she's throwing a little tantrum, "But it seems like your flirting with her! And you're like, 30! which is pervy!"
to which I reply: "If this were at a party, and I was flirting with her in person? Yeah, I can understand, but again, it's a website. Also, age shaming? REALLY? Stop trying to throw shade."
To which she replies: "Oh, I'm not throwing shade. I'm throwing the whole tree! and you're 30, she's like, 24! Ew!"
To which I reply: "Aw, cute, you're throwing tree, I throw black holes."
Here's the part where there's a massive disconnect between what's being talked about, and what's being meant.
she replies, "I can dig my way out of any hole."
What?
We're talking about talking shit to each other, and she suddenly think's I'm talking about actual holes... The fuck?
Now, I was young and dumb once too, but holy fuck did this get me riled up in a way that i've missed. normally, the shit talkers have a good salvo, but this chick was weak from the start, during, and at the end.
She not only wound up embarrassing herself, but made Ames uncomfortable by outright attacking me on twitter over nothing at all, and learned never to do that again, because ames was sending me messages throughout the whole thing, and she was just as clueless as I was about the whole thing. And we had a good laugh about the whole thing.
Normally, I'm not one to dwell on things, but jesus christ was that just the best twenty minute argument I've had in a while. i'm used to dealing with people better armed and sharp of wit, but this chick was dull as hell, unprepped, and would most likely get the shit screamed out of her by Gordon motherfucking Ramsey for... I dunno, breathing on the onion wrong or something.
And to be fair, I paraphrased the whole thing, because there were a few other thing we talked about where I actually supported what she said. As long as Ames is happy, I'm happy, and the world moves on.
but don't ever think you can come at me with that weak shit and thinking you're going to effect me in someway.
I dunno, but now I have a new saying "So dumb they think they can dog their way out of a black hole."
Started getting opinions from 9gag, they're surprisingly helpful, which is pretty cool... alrighty, time to tag and bag this thing and get on with my day... I've missed blogging.
These are the stupid thoughts I have as I struggle to comprehend the world of today.
not in the way most people would when trying to interpret the stupid things they witness, but rather the greatness of the universe as it cracks down on the rampant stupidity, as if Idiocy itself were the cocaine of the mind.
Which, I guess in a way, it is really is!
but im not even thinking clearly, I don't like thinking clearly, or logically in the mornings, it's become my crux, my weakness, my way of dumbing down my own thoughts in hopes of having an empathetic ephnay, which is what I've been trying to do from the very start of this thing I guess.
From the days where Hauptman111 was my focus, to the blogs lamenting why, out of nowhere, I wasn't recieving daily blowjobs from a hot wamon.
Yes, we wish for daily blow jobs.It's really no secret.
And yes, I spelled woman wrong.
no, I still have no fucks to give about that.
Why?
Because this is less a rant blog where I try to flambe the various idiots I come acorss, (Though I do have a very fun story about Chai Tea for later.)
this is more or less about stretching my brain in a creative way which doesn't involve NOT posting my thoughts for weeks on end, which is something I've been guilty of now for a while as I struggle to knock out a tournnament style story about some shit or another which doesn't seem to make sense, and yet, in a way, it still might.
I've been struggling to see the light of my own actions for a while, and though the moments of my suicide attempt still play around in my head like a fucked up movie theater showing a preview of a snuff film before a Disney movie about possessed teddy bears stalking their former owners, i'm just trying to move on as fast as possible.
the ocmplexities I face on such a daily basis are just insane. what do I do first?
Put on clothes, or stride naked down the street, my staff of god swing around, wildly destroying buildings as I try my best not to get a hard on and potentially have a heart attack and become my penis's penis.
A reverse penis if you will.
Actually, i don't know, maybe all this fluff and filler is designed to distract myself from the ever present possiblitoies of irrelevancy and down trodden state of mind which may or may not have led me to my unfortunate choice to attempt to end my own life.
this is why I'm seeing a therapist, to get to the bottom of this shit and find out for sure. Because sometimes, seeing the previews and a shaky shitty version of the movie online, just IS THE FUCK NOT ENOUGH.
sometimes, you've got to have na outsiders perspective, one that own't judge you idiotic outright or something.
I dunno, I like tlaking, especially now that my tongues healed up from that nasty business about... something, I dunno, I forgot what hte line of thought way that I was knocking out,, something aboutp lanes, trains and autmobiles.
Well, whatever it was, I'm sure that for whatever reason, it was in this post.
Meanwhile, I've got a tale for you.
You see, recently, I started following my friend Amy on twitter, she's awesome, we've been friends for years, however, recently she started dating this chick, we're calling her Chai Tea, because why not. And no, this isn't about calling osmeone out, this is just a particularly hilarious moment, in which an early twenty something, says something incredibly dumb, and my logic wheel was like, "What the fuck did she just say?"
So, every once in a whle, I'll like and retweet stuff that Ames posts, because i think it's awesome, well...
Chai Tea seemed to think I was flirting with Amy, which, we've toyed around with the idea, but nothing's ever really sparked up, so we're best off as friends, because... I dunno, we might be good together, but at the same time, everyone's got their own thing they're into, and I'm pretty open minded.
Anyways, Chai Tea sends me this angry message "you should stop being so flirty on twitter, stop like and retweeting my girlfriends things!"
to which I reply: "It's a website."
to which she replies in a way which I imagine she's throwing a little tantrum, "But it seems like your flirting with her! And you're like, 30! which is pervy!"
to which I reply: "If this were at a party, and I was flirting with her in person? Yeah, I can understand, but again, it's a website. Also, age shaming? REALLY? Stop trying to throw shade."
To which she replies: "Oh, I'm not throwing shade. I'm throwing the whole tree! and you're 30, she's like, 24! Ew!"
To which I reply: "Aw, cute, you're throwing tree, I throw black holes."
Here's the part where there's a massive disconnect between what's being talked about, and what's being meant.
she replies, "I can dig my way out of any hole."
What?
We're talking about talking shit to each other, and she suddenly think's I'm talking about actual holes... The fuck?
Now, I was young and dumb once too, but holy fuck did this get me riled up in a way that i've missed. normally, the shit talkers have a good salvo, but this chick was weak from the start, during, and at the end.
She not only wound up embarrassing herself, but made Ames uncomfortable by outright attacking me on twitter over nothing at all, and learned never to do that again, because ames was sending me messages throughout the whole thing, and she was just as clueless as I was about the whole thing. And we had a good laugh about the whole thing.
Normally, I'm not one to dwell on things, but jesus christ was that just the best twenty minute argument I've had in a while. i'm used to dealing with people better armed and sharp of wit, but this chick was dull as hell, unprepped, and would most likely get the shit screamed out of her by Gordon motherfucking Ramsey for... I dunno, breathing on the onion wrong or something.
And to be fair, I paraphrased the whole thing, because there were a few other thing we talked about where I actually supported what she said. As long as Ames is happy, I'm happy, and the world moves on.
but don't ever think you can come at me with that weak shit and thinking you're going to effect me in someway.
I dunno, but now I have a new saying "So dumb they think they can dog their way out of a black hole."
Started getting opinions from 9gag, they're surprisingly helpful, which is pretty cool... alrighty, time to tag and bag this thing and get on with my day... I've missed blogging.
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